Bygone Days!!

December 1, 2004 12:30 AM

Lately, I have this Doogie-Howserish yearning to end my day with a written reflection. Not sure why, but I guess that's what blogs are for . . . even semi-abandoned ones.

Today I wrestle with the need for meaning. I want every day to be significant, to fit into some kind of overall pattern. I'm addicted to symbol, I guess. I want each passage of the sun to be something more than itself: a metaphor. An organic lesson. An emerging revelation.

Heck, I want every moment to be significant in this way. But I'd settle for every day.

Instead, I'm mostly faced with random happenings, inconsistencies, faux-riddles . . . they seduce my attention but, having no real answer, prove to be a waste of time.

In the place of meaning I have comfort, and money, and companionship, which I value. And sometimes I think I shouldn't worry about seeking anything beyond that. My life is a paradise of sorts (nervous disorders and constant anxiety aside). Why do I search my Eden for more complicated fruit?

The ability to discern symbolic meaning, to find greater significance within - or impose it upon - the world around us, is a distinctly human pursuit.

It is also, apparently, the hallmark of the insane.

So what am I supposed to do? Keep searching? Get a labotomy? Join another church? Cry?

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Months September 2005 May 2005 March 2005 December 2004 November 2004 October 2004 September 2004 August 2004 July 2004 June 2004 December 2003 November 2003 October 2003 September 2003 August 2003 July 2003 June 2003 May 2003 April 2003 March 2003 February 2003	December 1, 2004 12:30 AM Lately, I have this Doogie-Howserish yearning to end my day with a written reflection. Not sure why, but I guess that's what blogs are for . . . even semi-abandoned ones. Today I wrestle with the need for meaning. I want every day to be significant, to fit into some kind of overall pattern. I'm addicted to symbol, I guess. I want each passage of the sun to be something more than itself: a metaphor. An organic lesson. An emerging revelation. Heck, I want every moment to be significant in this way. But I'd settle for every day. Instead, I'm mostly faced with random happenings, inconsistencies, faux-riddles . . . they seduce my attention but, having no real answer, prove to be a waste of time. In the place of meaning I have comfort, and money, and companionship, which I value. And sometimes I think I shouldn't worry about seeking anything beyond that. My life is a paradise of sorts (nervous disorders and constant anxiety aside). Why do I search my Eden for more complicated fruit? The ability to discern symbolic meaning, to find greater significance within - or impose it upon - the world around us, is a distinctly human pursuit. It is also, apparently, the hallmark of the insane. So what am I supposed to do? Keep searching? Get a labotomy? Join another church? Cry? COMMENTS (0) TRACKBACK (66) PERMALINK	Subjects About This Site (4) Bloggers (3) Current Events (5) Funny Memories (5) Linkalicious (2) Men From My Past (2) Psychic Life (12) Self-Discovery (15) The Arts (8) The Life of WT (20) WT's Wacky Family (3)