It's a NEW Day!!

July 30, 2004 08:06 PM

I've been trying to explore my fears lately. It's funny because I'm really brave in some ways. I don't think death is such a big deal. I've always been afraid of suffering and pain, but I'm starting to learn that suffering is a state of mind. In any scenario that involves pain, fear will only make things worse. Fear can never relieve suffering, only aggravate it. So in a remarkable paradox, if you really fear suffering, the best thing you can possibly do for yourself is to stop fearing, because the fear just causes more suffering which causes more fear which causes more suffering, etc., etc., etc.

I'm sure there's a terribly wounded inner child somewhere deep inside me, but for the most part, I don't have fears about relating to people. I don't fear rejection or abandonment. Although I always want people to like me, it's not that big a deal if they don't. Fortunately, I've experienced enough love in my life that I know there's enough love out there for me somewhere, regardless of any temporary lack of love I experience.

I have a few minor phobias . . . I'm afraid of heights, rodents, and big spiders. But these are more "fears of convenience" than anything else. I can afford to fear them because they are not things I need to deal with in my day-to-day life. If absolutely necessary, I know I could get over any one of them.

And yet despite these philosophical views, I have experienced many episodes of acute fear over the last several months, some lasting for days. What am I afraid of?

I realize that I devide the world into three cubby-holes. There are the things I have control over, which don't worry me because I know I can handle them. Then there are the things I have no control over (natural disasters, random acts of destruction, etc.) Many people are terrified of such things, but I'm pretty stoic about them. I figure, my worrying won't change those things one bit, so why waste the time?

Then there is the third category: Those things that I don't have direct control over, but which I may be able influence.

These things terrify me.

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	July 30, 2004 08:06 PM I've been trying to explore my fears lately. It's funny because I'm really brave in some ways. I don't think death is such a big deal. I've always been afraid of suffering and pain, but I'm starting to learn that suffering is a state of mind. In any scenario that involves pain, fear will only make things worse. Fear can never relieve suffering, only aggravate it. So in a remarkable paradox, if you really fear suffering, the best thing you can possibly do for yourself is to stop fearing, because the fear just causes more suffering which causes more fear which causes more suffering, etc., etc., etc. I'm sure there's a terribly wounded inner child somewhere deep inside me, but for the most part, I don't have fears about relating to people. I don't fear rejection or abandonment. Although I always want people to like me, it's not that big a deal if they don't. Fortunately, I've experienced enough love in my life that I know there's enough love out there for me somewhere, regardless of any temporary lack of love I experience. I have a few minor phobias . . . I'm afraid of heights, rodents, and big spiders. But these are more "fears of convenience" than anything else. I can afford to fear them because they are not things I need to deal with in my day-to-day life. If absolutely necessary, I know I could get over any one of them. And yet despite these philosophical views, I have experienced many episodes of acute fear over the last several months, some lasting for days. What am I afraid of? I realize that I devide the world into three cubby-holes. There are the things I have control over, which don't worry me because I know I can handle them. Then there are the things I have no control over (natural disasters, random acts of destruction, etc.) Many people are terrified of such things, but I'm pretty stoic about them. I figure, my worrying won't change those things one bit, so why waste the time? Then there is the third category: Those things that I don't have direct control over, but which I may be able influence. These things terrify me. TRACKBACK (0)		Your Words