March 11, 2003 10:13 PM

So I find myself afraid today.

Being psychic during times of world conflict can have its ups and downs. As a consciously sensitive person, it's easy to get wrapped up in the intense feelings of others, and forget that they aren't really yours.

It was very interesting being part of a psychic community during the time before 9/11. See, people always say things like, "Well, why couldn't you psychic people have forseen something that major, and maybe saved some lives or something?" or, on a lighter note, "Why didn't Dionne Warwick's Psychic Friends Network warn her about her impending drug bust?"

To me, these questions are unanswerable, because they assume certain things about reality that I don't believe to be true. These questions assume that reality functions according to strict and simple rules of cause and effect. Kind of like a movie plot. Act I: Conflict develops. Act II: Suspense is generated. Act III: Protagonist does the right thing at the right time, and crisis is averted.

I don't see it this way. When I look at reality, I see a giant ocean of chaos. There are waves and currents and storms and whirlpools. It is not linear or finite in any way. Nothing is resolved in two hours, or two years, or . . . ever. There is no right or wrong or success or failure.

There is just the ocean.

Being psychic, to me, is about navigating the currents . . . not changing them. And I can only navigate for myself, for my own life. And watch others do it for themselves.

If Dionne Warwick gets herself into a "drug bust" current, no psychic or anyone else can help her. Because Dionne herself is a powerful spirit, and can effectively make every one of her Psychic Friends - every psychic in the world, in fact - completely blind to her habits of transporting illegal substances.

It's her drug bust to have. No one can reach into her life and take that drug bust from her.

And if a country gets itself into a "war" current, I really can't do anything about it.

We didn't see 9/11 coming . . . specifically. But we were very aware of the current. As a matter of fact, starting in mid-August of 2001, many of us started to fear very strongly that WE were going to be blown up. We thought someone was going to plant a bomb in our building in Berkeley, and that some of us would be killed. Also, people got physically ill and couldn't quite get well for weeks. (This is pretty unusual, because psychics as a rule are pretty darn healthy.)

We saw all the pain and destruction that was coming, we got wrapped up in it, we even let it affect our health and our bodies, and we forgot - or didn't even notice - that it wasn't really ours.

And what did we do about it? We did what we always do. We laughed. We went about our business. We played our games and did our spiritual work, and each of us navigated the currents for him or herself. That's what psychics do.

Today I'm sick and I feel afraid that something nasty is right around the corner. I feel like the boots of North Korean soldiers are stomping on my lower back, and I'm reminding myself that this pain and this fear are not mine.

I'm swimming in another direction.

It takes two to tango. War consumes all who have a willingness to fight, no matter what their goals or motives.

I am not a fighter. I'm a psychic and a healer.

I will not be consumed.

Musical theater, really, teaches all the secrets of the universe. There's a great lyric in the musical "Rent" that's very important to remember these days:

"The opposite of war isn't peace . . . it's CREATION!"

So fuck all this War & Peace noise.

Let's create.

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