March 7, 2003 11:03 PM

The best pickup line anyone's actually used on me?

"That's an awfully big book."

I was twenty-three, sprawled out on the ground at a BART station, waiting for a train. I felt like my life was falling apart . . . no particular reason, I just felt that way. And I had decided that reading challenging literature and philosophy might help me find my way. (It didn't, but oh well.)

I had checked out this big old book from the library. It was like some compilation of fragments of "Great Works." Probably published for use in some college general ed class in the fifties.

And so I sat there reading it, ignoring the world, and this guy just came up next to me, inserted himself into my reality, and said, "That's an awfully big book."

I looked up at him from the floor. He was probably about thirty. Blonde, a little stocky, dressed kind of . . . funky thrift store retro pseudo-stylish. I think he was wearing a vest. And one of those brimmed caps that you expect to see on London chimney sweeps and turn-of-the-century newspaper boys.

I believe he was an academic . . . some kind of grad student. The book somehow connected us. It was like a secret we shared, something the other people on the BART platform couldn't appreciate the way we could.

I stood up and tried to explain what the book was, why I was reading it, and the fact that I was ambivalent about it, I wasn't sure if I liked it or not. Which pretty much summed up my whole life at that point.

And then the BART train came. His, not mine. He climbed aboard, maintaining eye contact with me the whole time. And he stood there, like it was a scene from a movie. The train door was open. I stood on the platform. We looked into each other's eyes.

I felt the invitation. I should have just climbed aboard with him. But I was confused. And I didn't.

And the door shut. And his eyes seemed to become a little sad as the train carried him out of my life.

So what's your best ever pickup-line experience?

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